There is always that one moment in life where things could have been different. That one moment where you could have chosen a path that would lead you down a certain road.
A different life.
It was easier to pretend that we were still best friends, and that she was my girl and I was her boy.
Pretending was better than knowing the truth…
I. Ruined. Us.
I had her.
I lost her.
I love her.
All I did was complicate us.
Standalone series. New Adult Contemporary Romance: Strong language and sexual content, not intended for readers under 18.
“It was complicated. It was messy. It was us”
There are few book and few authors who truly make me wish that I could be part of the stories even just a side character but every single book of M. Robinson’s makes me wish I could be in her stories. The way she writes— her stories are authentic and detailed you can’t help but picture everything that is happening and wish you had a little role in the book. Along with making me wish I could be in her books she also gives me the some of the biggest book hangovers! I wouldn’t change having the book hangover for anything-it means that what I read felt real and her characters came alive on the pages. The moment I was notified Complicate Me was on my kindle I was antsy to start it. Little did I know that starting it would turn into not going to sleep till way past my bedtime only to wake up early because I ended up thinking about the characters in my dreams. I kept telling myself to slow down as I didn’t want to the story to end but yet I kept reading more and more as I wanted to know what the heck was going to happen.
Complicate Me is the story of Lucas and Alex. Lucas and Alex along with the other characters have been friends since before they could remember. The group would do everything together and with Alex being the youngest and only girl she often felt she had to prove herself as “one of the boys”. She spit fire spirit and never taking no for an answer enabled Alex to prove her worthiness as one of the boys many times. Although everyone in the group was extremely close Lucas and Alex (aka Bo and Half Pint) had a special bond with one another. Their bonds at time would actually hinder them from experiencing things and growing up while at other times their bond made their relationship and feelings for one another strength at a rapid speed. As Lucas and Alex try to navigate the waters of growing up and developing feelings for each other, decisions are made and things are said that can’t be undone and cause another to take a different path in life that they may not have originally chosen. Will they ever be able to be on the same page or will their baggage from the past always hinder their future? Will Lucas and Alex ever be able to over the complicatedness of their life and find love and happiness together?
“They say you have that one moment in life where things could have been different, that one moment that changes the course of your life or the direction you could have taken. That one moment that could forever change you and everything you wanted to be true, everything you wanted to believe. One simple decision could alter your entire future.”
Reviewed by: Ladyballs
Ok I first want to start off by saying that I LOVE M. Robinson and her writing style. I loved the VIP series. Loved. Complicate Me I liked. Now let me clarify. It was good. Really good. But not good enough for me to love like her other books. Now before you jump all over me and call me crazy, here me out…and remember its not that I didnt like this book, I DID…just not as much as others she has written… And here are a few reasons why I didn’t LOVE it…
So this book is about a group of four boys and one girl. All of them have known each other basically since birth. They look out for each other and always have each others backs. Only from the beginning, one of the boys Lucas and the only girl in the group Alex, form a totally different relationship then the rest of the group. Call it love, call it destiny, call it soulmates. It’s just clearly different and they both subconsciously realize it at a very young age.
A huge and I mean huge chunk of the book is them growing up together. This is where the book lost me a little. It was literally every step of their lives….from skinned knees, to menstruation, to nudie magazines, to first kisses, to dating, to puberty….you get what I am saying? I understand that for this book it was important to clearly outline the relationship between Lucas and Alex and the rest of the gang but it was just wayyyyyy too much for me. I honestly think a few chapters could have been shaved off the book at the beginning and added to the end, when they were more grown up. To me, too much time was spent on the childhood…but I totally understand why the need was there. The author really wanted you to understand the strong bond and connections between certain characters. Here, in trying to do that, it got dragged out.
While I loved the interactions and the bonds that they formed and learned the psyche of certain people…it was just too much.
The other thing that I found myself doing was reminding myself that the characters were children throughout most of the first half. The maturity level of Alex at 8 to 11 years old was wayyyyy far beyond what I remember myself being. This was a problem I found through a lot of the first 18 years of the groups life….reminding myself it was an 11 year old thinking this and not an adult. Kids just are not that deep…at least not me or anyone I know or knew at that age.
As you can imagine, over the lives of this group there are many twists and turns and relationships fall apart only to be rebuilt again and I loved the last half or so of the book. I was dying to get to the end to see after all the things that had taken place who would end up together, who would remain friends and who would never speak again.
My brown eyed girl sat on our blankets with her arms wrapped around her knees, hiding her face. The tiny frame that I adored so much shook uncontrollably, only heightening the deepest sobbing that escalated with each passing second. It was such an intimate moment, not to be shared with anyone, especially me. Alex didn’t cry. I watched her bawl for the first time in my life. I had never seen anyone cry like that before, and it shook me to my core, slicing me whole, and making me feel like I was dying. Carving a memory that I would take to my grave. There was no going back…
No do overs.
What I witnessed tonight would be my purgatory; I would now close my eyes and forever see her falling apart in front of me. Shattering before my very own eyes and I found it hard to breathe.
Hard to move.
My feet were glued to the goddamn floor as she continued to weep, sob, bawl, violently sucking in air that wasn’t available. I accepted it all; each tear that fell from her face becoming pieces of me.
Circulating through my veins and blood, it flowed endlessly, a river of her sadness and sorrow and of my broken promises. No beginning or ending to her cries, just an infinite current, flooding the hole where my heart should be. The shadow of her trembling petite body reflected off the walls, leaving a trail of regrets in its wake.
Growing up in a small town you overheard a lot of things. People talking, stories told, town gossip. You listened a lot.
You learned a lot. Tourists, townies, friends, and especially family all shared wisdom and advice that you think you will never need.
Bunch of bullshit. They say you have that one moment in life where things could have been different, that one moment that changes the course of your life or the direction you could have taken. That one moment that could forever change you and everything you wanted to be true, everything you wanted to believe. One simple decision could alter your entire future.
My entire world.
I would forever remember this moment for the rest of my life. This is the moment that changed everything. This is the moment where I took another direction, another road that led me to my own demise. My own regrets. I should have walked in there. I should have apologized. I should have begged for her forgiveness. I should have promised that I would never hurt her again. I should have done whatever it took to make her look at me the way she had our entire lives.
But I didn’t…
I did none of those things…
Nothing was said between us.
I was a coward and couldn’t do it. I couldn’t see her like that. I couldn’t look into her eyes and know that I had hurt her.
That I had disappointed her. That I ruined her love and lost her respect for me. The boy who promised he would never hurt her.
The boy who swore he would always protect her.
The boy who vowed he would never let anything happen to her.
That same boy was me.
I was the reason she was bawling.
I was the reason she was hurt.
I was the reason she was broken.
She knew the truth. It had finally caught up to me… I shattered her illusion that I was hers. I ruined the one good thing I had in my life. The girl that owned my heart was bleeding out for me in a way that I had never seen before. The house was no longer our safe place.
I had brought my hurricane with me…
I couldn’t risk the possibility of losing her permanently if I walked in there and admitted my truths. She wouldn’t love me anymore, she wouldn’t look at me the same anymore, and she wouldn’t be mine anymore.
My brown eyed girl.
The girl that I had loved all of my life.
The same girl that I would love for the rest of my life.
I gave her the only comfort I could in her moment of despair. I turned around and left. I walked down the stairs and got into my truck. I turned the engine on and drove my sorry ass home. I took a shower and never once looked at myself in the mirror. I pretended that nothing changed. That I didn’t cause her pain, and that she didn’t know the truth. That I didn’t see her sobbing and that she wasn’t even bawling to begin with. That we were still just best friends, and that she was my girl and I was her boy.
My Half-Pint and her Bo.
It was better than knowing…
I ruined us.
About The Author
She was born in New Jersey but was raised in Tampa Fl. She is currently pursuing her Ph.D in psychology, with two years left.
She is married to an amazing man who she loves to pieces. They have two German Shepherd mixes and a Tabby cat.
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