ruined my sister’s life and nothing was ever the same again. But now, a decade
later, he’s back.
shocked, but nothing prepares me for what I’m about to learn. I see how far
he’s gone to redeem himself and I know that he’s changed. I also know that, as
a priest, he’s more off limits than ever.
“You’re not the first person to be shocked by my choice of
calling.”“Your family?” I guess. He nods. “I’m assuming they probably
had bigger and better things in mind for you, but it’s a step up from rapist
right?” His eyes widen and I cringe. Shit, I can’t believe I just said that.“I can see why you might think that, but my father is very
anti-religion, so I’m not sure he would agree,” he smirks and rubs his
chiselled jawline, giving me a pointed look. “Are you done now?”“I’m sorry that was way out of line,” I mumble,
admitting I went too far. “Sometimes I say things without thinking.”“It’s okay,” He shrugs. His dark eyes penetrate mine. I’m
shaking, but I hold his gaze, refusing to look away. “You get a free pass today
to say whatever you like to me and then tomorrow you need to start giving me a
chance. Is that fair?”I’m not loving the part where I give him a chance, but I
have so many questions burning inside of me that I’m dying to ask that I sit
forward, and place my hands under my thighs.“Okay I’ll play,” I say, staring at him. I question
everything he says because it hurts too much to believe him. Why should he get
to move on? “Why this?”“Because it was the only way I could see getting my life
back on track. I was at the point where I had nothing to live for, and God
changed that for me. He gave me hope. I had something that was mine. I was
making a difference.”“How long have you been a Priest for?” I say the word like
it’s dirty but only because he’s makes it that way. It’s like he’s taken one of
the purest professions in the world and tainted it.“Five years. After I got out of prison, I was in a bad
place. Everything that happened with Cecily really messed me up and then
hearing that she…. His voice trails off like he can’t complete his train of
thought, so I make him, because he doesn’t get to do this. He doesn’t get to
make this about him.“You mean how she killed herself?” I say. I stare at him, my
anger fuelling the strength I’m somehow finding within myself to confront him.
This is what I’ve wanted for so long, to be able to face him and show him how
much he hurt me. “How she ended her life after what you did to her and the way
your family dragged her through the mud. Is that what you mean? You can’t even
say it, Declan. Imagine how hard it was for me to live it.”“I never wanted that all I wanted to do was plead guilty and
move on—”“Move on?” I whisper, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Like
my sister got to move on? Like my dad moved on by ramming his car into a tree?
You ruined our lives. Why should you get to move on?”“I’m sorry about your father,” he says softly.“You’re sorry?” I laugh. I throw my hands up in the air.
“Well, so long as you’re sorry.”“You have every right to be angry at me Hannah, but I’m just
trying to explain it from my point of view. You asked me why I became a priest.
This is why. Everything that happened is why.”
“But you don’t get to explain,” I whisper. “Because it’s not
fair. All you get to do is sit there and take whatever I decide I need to say
to you in order for me to get through this. That’s the only thing you need to
do here. You don’t get to justify what you did, or tell me how much you’ve
changed, because I don’t care. All I care about is being able to be in the same
room as you without feeling like I’m going to be sick. Is that too much to
ask?” “No. No it’s not,” he mumbles. His eyes cast
downward and I laugh. He can’t even look at me.
husband, and her confused pets (a dog who think she’s a cat, a cat who thinks
he’s a dog…you get the picture).
something to read.